Mail Delivery Subsystem (pathos_bill) wrote,
Mail Delivery Subsystem

The year I saw my first nude filmstrip.

I had my first persistent mental block in second grade. Back then we had a cache of handouts and workbook pages to complete at our desks every morning. I was a bright kid, a fine student, generally first or second or third in my class of 20 to finish. It was some months into the school year when I faltered. I failed to complete my work every day, or almost every day, for a week or two. One day at recess Mrs. Popovich told me she noticed I wasn't finishing up lately. I remember that I noticed it too. It frustrated me.

At that age I couldn't know why it was happening. I did not realize, for starters, that I was having trouble concentrating. When in my mid teens I tried to psychoanalyze that seven year-old self, I remembered (perhaps accurately) my mother and my eleven year-old sister were fighting a lot at that time. I knew that witnessing it could have been damaging.
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